Forgotten Soul: Kikyo's Horrid Secret
by KyoKunIsMine
Summary: Kikyo writes down in her journal about her life and all the horrors she's lived through. Will she confess her love for someone other than Inuyasha? Can she and Kagome forget the past and become the best of friends? Read and comment! Ja Ne! VERY OOC!
1. Kikyo's Past

**Forgotten Soul**

**I DON'T own Inuyasha; I own this OOC story though. I hope you enjoy the story, if I get good review, I'll go on with the story! Remember, this is in Kikyo's POV about everything she has been through. It may get OOC because of future curse words and Kikyo and Kagome become friends. Remember, you have been warned! Please review my story and please don't flame. (o)**

I was inside a village house, it was about 2:00 a.m. and everything was sound asleep. I ordered one of my Soul stealers to get a journal and a pen. When it returned, I opened the crisp cover and stared and the blank page, the pen in my hand as I tapped my cheek with it. I began to write about my former life.

Dear Diary,

Hello there, my name is Kikyo. I am 68 years old, but I appear about 18 years of age. I was once a pure priestess given the duty to protect the Shikon no Tama, a jewel with a legend all by itself. While I was asked to protect it, I came against fierce foes which I eventually defeated.

During a battle with over 10 demons, I encountered a man in a red robe, he asked me if I was a priestess, and I answered yes and asked if he wanted the Shikon Jewel. He asked what it was, and I told him it were better if he didn't know. I continued on my way, and the next day, I met a similar voice, it was the Hanyou I met the night before, except back then, he was in a human state of being. He ordered me to give him the jewel, I suppose he found out about it during the night, and I shot him to a tree. My younger sister, Kaede, would ask why I never killed him with the Hama No Ya. I never answered her, until Inuyasha and I met under the light of the sun in the meadow. I told him it was because we were alike, we are both a being, but we cannot show our fears or weaknesses, for we would be killed. We could never show our true selves, we would risk our lives.

After the meeting, we slowly began falling in love, one day, we rode in a canoe and while getting out, I tripped and landed on his well built chest. Right there is when he told me he loved me and he would become human for my sake. It would purify the jewel, and I could live with him until we died. I promised him to give him the jewel under the Goshinboku around noon the day after, and he agreed, and there was when I had had my first kiss. Later in the night, I was praying and cleansing the jewel when I heard Inuyasha's voice and he asked for me to reschedule and meet him at the break of dawn. When I agreed and looked outside the shrine, he was gone.

When I woke up the next day, my younger sister Kaede, still recovering from the wound inflicted on her eye, saw me leaving and asked for me to stay. She didn't know Inuyasha was going to meet me on that day, so I had lied for the first time and said that I was going to get medicinal herbs for her wound. She looked at me and said that there were a lot right next to her. I panicked and said that I would try to find something better. So with that, I left. I was running thinking, I'm late! I'm late! As I approached the Goshinboku, I didn't see Inuyasha. I was wondering where he would have been, thinking that he overslept. As I walked into the middle of the meadow, I thought I would surprise him, and wear the lip gloss he gave me. He told me it was his mothers and he had no use of it. As a priestess, I wasn't allowed to wear make-up, but thinking it was my last day as a priestess, I broke another rule. Sliding my finger across the rogue, I felt a sharp pain on my right shoulder, Inuyasha slit my back open!

I hit the floor with a thud and Inuyasha caught the rogue and smashed it. I reached for the jewel, and he smashed his foot into my palm. I couldn't believe it, Inuyasha, my beloved husband to be, ran his claws down my back in the most painful way possible. He said he would massacre the village, and took the Shikon no Tama. I cursed him, and all I could think about was why my beloved Inuyasha would do this to me. Clutching my arm, pain engulfed my soul and all I could feel was heartbreak. As I approached the village, I saw the massacre Inuyasha had plagued it with. I took my bow and arrow, and cast the Fuuin No Ya. No matter how much I hated Inuyasha, I could never kill him; it would only pain me more.

I called out Inuyasha's name and released the arrow, it nailed him right in the heart, and he let go of the Shikon no Tama. He was stuck on the Goshinboku, the tree said to be immune to time. His body would never decompose. At the time, I didn't think about it, all I knew was pain, betrayal and twisted love.

I took the Shikon no Tama as tremors of pain ran through my body. I told Kaede it was up to her to either purify the jewel in my stead, or to cremate it with my body. The last words I ever heard were the cries of my name coming out from Kaede. After that, my mind went black, and all I knew was death, no more pain, no more suffering, no more Inuyasha.

I closed the journal, and tears ran down my face. I can still remember the lonely cries from my younger sister as I passed on to the netherworld.

'For 50 years, I left her all alone in the world, she must have hated me. But, even if she does, I could never hate her. She was the only one I could ever trust. Why was I so stupid? How could I have ever thought Inuyasha would have killed me? And, why did Naraku have to kill me to get his way?' I thought.

I must write more, I must give the journal to someone who can relate to my pain, they must never let anyone see my journal, if anyone does, it will reveal my real love. I know that Inuyasha still loves me, but I cannot have him carry this burden. He must reconcile and pick up from the love he lost. The only one who could ever know all the pain I have been through would be the one who is spiritually connected to me, Kagome Higurashi, my reincarnation.

**Well, there you have it, chapter one of Kikyo's Diary. Please review! This was made with open-mindedness. I had to tell everyone what really happened to Kikyo and why she hates Inuyasha. The story will be OOC because she makes best friends with Kagome and there will be cursing from the two miko's, but that is later, if I get 3 good review to keep me going.**

**Ja Ne!**

**Rin a.k.a. KyoKunIsMine**

** (o.0) (0) ( . )**


	2. Kikyo's Resurrection Present

**Forgotten Soul**

**Disclaimer: **

**I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA! If I did, I wouldn't be sitting at home, I'd dominate the world, so yah! Remember, this story will become OOC. VERY OOC! And you will face the weirdest pairings! If you aren't happy with the fact Kikyo doesn't love Inuyasha anymore, you better stop, I don't want complains, alright? YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! This story is in Kikyo's POV.**

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****The Story Thus Far:**

In the last chapter, Kikyo started her journal. She used to love Inuyasha, but everything went futile after her death. She knows someone is going to kill her, but who! She has to give the journal to someone she can trust, but before that, she needs to write down everything about her past and present! To find out, you have to read! Alright, lets get started!

I took the pen in my hand and wiped away my tears. I know Naraku is going to kill me, I can't let that happen, I MUST finish this journal. Someone needs to know the truth and they must NEVER show Inuyasha. He can never know the truth. Why do you think I've been ditching him?

I began writing on the 5th page, my past was long, and took up a lot of space. I started spelling out the word 'dear'.

Dear Diary,

You now know about me and my tragic past, so you are probably wondering why I am writing in you, the dead don't write. Well friend, on the contrary. During the time I live in, there is such a thing as spiritual magic, demons, half-demons, and other "mythical" creatures thought to never have existed. Yes, I am dead, and still am today, at this very moment. But, I am not the only one of my kind. See, after my death, I was cremated with the Shikon no Tama. Instead of scattering the ashes of my body, they made my burial soil and ashes a shrine. People would visit 'me' when they needed reassurance and hope.

My reincarnation, Kagome, was dragged into the bone eaters well on her 15th birthday by Mistress Centipede, a fierce demon. Kagome had the Shikon no Tama inside her body, and she didn't know. Mistress Centipede ripped it out of her abdomen and the immense energy made Mistress Centipede grow stronger, by at least 15 times, when she ate it. Inuyasha was reawakened from the Fuuin No Ya by the presence of Kagome, and with no clue on what to do, she released him. So, they defeated Mistress Centipede, and Kagome was assigned my former position, protector of the Shikon No Tama, but in a skirmish for possession, she ended up shattering it. It brought the attention to a certain demon named Urasue.

Urasue was a vile ogre demon who practiced the dark arts. She demolished my shrine and stole my ashes along with my burial soil. She created a clay imitation of my real body that was burned after my death. Although, when she made my body, I didn't have a soul…yet. I was already reincarnated, into Kagome Higurashi. Urasue must have had a good streak of luck, because when she left the cave, she smelt a scent that resembled mine. She went closer to the scent, and there Kagome was.

Kagome was abducted by Urasue and she was placed into a bathtub of medicinal herbs which make the persons soul unsettled and it is released from the body. Kagome's case was different, though. The soul was unsettled, but a barrier formed. My imitation body was able to move and dress itself because the soul was within eyesight. Urasue thought it was because of the Shikon no Tama, but she was wrong.

As a miko, I learn to protect myself using spiritual powers. The Shikon no Tama wasn't the one who created the barrier, I did. My soul was calling out to Inuyasha, telling him not to call out my name. I tried very hard not to let the barrier break, but Inuyasha just **_had_** to say my name. When he did, Kagome's heart skipped a beat and my soul sprung forth to the previous 'body' which is now made of clay. I was settled to the ground a few moments later.

I believe that when my soul came out from Kagome, a change occurred. Kagome is no question, lot friendlier than I am today, so maybe as my soul came out, I felt the need for revenge because the happiness and friendliness was left behind in Kagome. As I was getting onto my feet, I saw Inuyasha, and everything changed. The hatred I had held when I died sprung forth and took all control.

I was walking up to Inuyasha, and the cut inflicted on me the day of my death returned. A red light shone and I clutched my shoulder, my hand full of blood. I screamed out Inuyasha's name. At the time, I had not known that Naraku had set us up and I thought Inuyasha was the cause for my death. I asked him why he betrayed me and he said it was vice versa, and that I was the one who betrayed him. I told him to stop with the excuses and told him how he struck me down by digging his claws into my back. An old woman, in her 60's, confronted me and called me sister. I forgot about my younger sister, Kaede, and asked who she was. She told me her name and informed me that it has been 50 years since my demise. I took her bow and arrows and pushed her away from me, because she believed Inuyasha more than me, her sister.

I took aim and shot Inuyasha with the Hama No Ya, the demon exorcising arrow. Because he is half human, it hurts even more. It electrifies them, and then kills them. Before it could completely kill him, Kagome opened her eyes and called her soul back. I felt my 'heart' stop and soul balls were leaving my 'body' rapidly. I tried to keep them in, but I was too weak. Kagome's body settled on the floor and the arrow I shot at Inuyasha disappeared. Surprisingly, I was still alive, but the only thing driving me and keeping me alive was my deep, pure hatred for Inuyasha. It seeped into my 'skin' and poisoned my mind.

All I could think of was about my escape, when I felt the air pick up. But, it wasn't that, my foot had slipped and I was at the edge of a cliff. I knew I was going to die, but I felt someone grab my arm. I expected it to be Kaede, because she is my sister, but it was him, Inuyasha. I looked at him and asked him what he was doing. He told me to just give up and go back into Kagome's body. I asked him if it was his wish for my death, and made a promise. I would never die unless he came to Hell with me. With that said, I used a miko power **(I don't know the name, kind of like an energy bolt) **and shocked him so bad, his grasp on my arm weakened, and I fell off the cliff.

His image became a speck, and I could feel the wind rushing below me. The wind was like a machine gun, gusts of wind bulleted at my 'body' and I was bruised all over. My ears were aching because of the loud noise. Despite the aching pain in my ear, I heard a lot of water beneath me, and I knew it was a river. I braced myself for death, once more.

I hit the river, and everything was dark. "I'm dead, I'm dead, and Inuyasha left me alone…again" I thought. I woke up several hours later, my head hurt and I felt like my head was splitting. I felt like ripping my head in half. But, despite the pain, all I could say was "I'm alive! I'm alive!"

I decided to recover in the forest, and I needed soul stealers, my body can't sustain itself with only this all-consuming hatred. So, I set up a barrier that called the attention of the demons I needed, the soul stealers.

I closed the journal and thought to myself for quite sometime. Yes, I did hate Kagome, but only for 1 reason, because she had Inuyasha and I didn't. But, I am over it. I cannot hate Kagome because she has my soul, my powers, or the life I yearned for. Sure, I am free to hate, but I could never hate her. It is as if I hated myself. Kagome is the only person I could ever trust, the only one I can turn to. I have to meet her; I need to meet her soon. In fact, I am going to meet her tonight, in about 1 hour. I must talk to her; Naraku is out to get me, I cannot let him see this, or he will tell everyone about what I have written in here. Just a few more entries and it is all Kagome's.

I looked at the cover, it was a Sakura flower, and it still smelled beautiful. It reminds me of Kagome, sweet, nice, pretty. No wonder Urasue knew she was my reincarnation, we both smell of Sakura flowers. But she also smells like Jasmine, and she is pure, like a bouquet of flowers. In fact, I even asked Inuyasha during one of our meetings, how areKagome and Ialike, he told me it was because of our distinct smells, our looks, powers and the will to never give up.

I'll sleep for about 30 minutes, write in my journal, and call Kagome. She must keep this in her time, or everyone will meet a horrid fate…all because of the Shikon No Tama's dark secret.

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**There you go people, chapter 2. It might sound like Kikyo is lesbian, but she isn't. I know it was a long chapter, but whatever. Yes, 30 minutes of sleep must suck, but I haven't seen her sleep like a normal person, yet. She always wakes up at night, maybe she doesn't even sleep. **

**Anyways, please review my chapter, I updated earlier than I should have, but someone asked for me to continue, I couldn't leave them hanging. _Thanks for reviewing blue-demongirl!_ Remember,I need 3 reviews, or I WON'T update! It will get a hell of a lot better! I have typed up to chapter 5, and it is just awesome man, awesome.**

**I will be making stuff up as we go along, about the Shikon No Tama, because there is no hard proof about it at all, atleast, nothing about wat it can really do.**

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**_Shikon NoTamaSpoiler_**

_(This is not in the chapters at all, it is a spoiler comign in at about chapter 4! So, make a )_

Kikyo thought, I have to tell Kagome about the Shikon no Tama and it's curse that is instore if a Half-Demon ever uses it.

Midoriko came into my dreams and told me that if he was to ever use the Shikon No Tama, our greatest foe would get something out of it, or, the spell would backfire and everyone would die. The Shikon No Tama would be gone forever, but so would his comrades.

I HAVE to warn Kagome and Inuyasha, before it is too late!

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**Until next time! Ja Ne!**

**Rin!**


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